Sunday Drivers

If I was to take an interest in computer game design, which I can’t really imagine because I never play them, it would be a matter of perfectly simulating the manoeuvering strategies of drivers in Walthamstow on a Saturday morning.

I don’t hate computer games. Don’t be like that about it! I played them when I needed another career, but I don’t really need one right now. I like a lot of things about how they look and their interfaces and what they represent, but I really couldn’t imagine playing one.

Anyway, forget that self-justifying diversion: we were talking about drivers in Walthamstow on a Saturday morning. They manifest in awkward corners of the district, pulling slow deliberate three-point turns (or are they five-point turns? I’ve never driven!) while you try to understand their motivation and rationale.

Pointless. They have neither. They manifested at that moment. They don’t know where they are coming from or where they are going. They find themselves in the view of the player characters, and on this basis they need to act as if they are real people. They execute a reverse to the right, and then brake, open a door a little, and light a cigarette.

If they are very lucky the players will leave this corner of reality in the next few moments, otherwise they will need to find something else to do, to give the impression that they are real.

Oh God! They’re pulling their trousers down. Oh God!