Nom de Guerre

Sometimes I say to myself: “hey Zali!” Which is pretty unnecessary because there’s not actually anyone else inside my head who I need to address.

Sure, I try to mix it up a bit. Occasionally, I go with “KRISHNAAAAAA!” if I’m about to suggest something *really kerazay* or I might even use the formal “Zali Jean” if I am about to issue a reprimand.

And yes, then there’s The Other Name that occasionally needs to be evoked, but I can’t tell you about that one because the power that it would allow you to wield could destroy all of us. Seriously, you use that one casually and you can fling around out of town branches of Sports Direct like they were golf balls. I know you’ll tell me that you’d only use that power for good but what if it got into the wrong hands, eh?

Tectonic plates flapping around like slices of ham.

Anyway, sometimes I say to myself, “hey Zali, are we going to get to the point of this update any time soon?”

I don’t bother to answer because obvi.